


Queer Eye for the Cap Guy

by I_am_a_closet_fanfic_fiend



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, The Fab Five
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:53:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26352979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_a_closet_fanfic_fiend/pseuds/I_am_a_closet_fanfic_fiend
Summary: On the eve of Steve retiring, Bucky, Sam and Nat nominate him for queer eye. What can the Fab Five do for our favorite captain? A lot.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 54





	1. Prologue

_In the fab five truck_

“We’re a lot farther North than we normally are,” Tan points out as they cross the border into New York.

“Yes, but that’s because we have a very special nominee this week. Our hero is none other than the original superhero, Steve Rogers,” Bobby reads from the dossier.

“Wait, we’re doing Captain America?” Karamo asks glancing over from the driver’s seat, jaw dropped.

“I am extremely excited about doing Captain America,” Jonathan grinned shimmying slightly.

There were murmurs of agreement throughout the truck.

“He is 6’2’’. 220 lbs.”

“Oooh that is nice.”

“He’s always been America’s Golden Boy, but in the past few years since the Sokovia Accords, he’s lost his way. He’s retiring from the Avengers and moving into a new place in Brooklyn. He was nominated by his friends Natasha, Sam, and Bucky who think it’s time he found himself outside of the Captain America persona.”

“I know in my own life, that having expectations on how you act, dress, speak, live can be exhausting. I can’t imagine what it’s been like for him,” Karamo commented.

“Our mission for this week is helping this hero say hello to his inner civilian.”

*Intro Music*


	2. Meeting Steve

“I thought we didn’t have any new recruits this week, Nat,” Steve grumbled as he followed her to the conference room, still in sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt from training. 

“Hill’s assistant made a mistake with the schedule. She said they were coming next week, but the memo said today.” 

“Why can’t you do it?” 

“I’ve got to meet with Fury. It won’t take long there’s only five of them,” Natasha insisted as she opened the door. 

The fab five were seated in the conference room with official looking packets in front of them. Steve hid his surprise at the sight of them. They weren’t the typical SHIELD agent makeup. Quirking an eyebrow at Nat, she simply shrugged. 

“Good morning, recruits.” 

“Good morning,” they chorused back. 

“Welcome to SHIELD. Congratulations on making it through the first round of training. Do you have any questions before we get started?” 

Jonathan raised his hand. 

“Yes?” 

“Would you say that your life could use some more fabulousness in it?” 

“Excuse me?” 

When he processed what was going on he started to about-face, but Nat was blocking his path. 

“You promised,” she reminded him. 

Gritting his teeth, he turned back around and faced the fab five forcing a smile onto his face. 

They were all on their feet, moving towards him. He had to remind himself they weren’t the enemy. 

“Hello, handsome,” Bobby greeted him with a hug. 

It felt foreign. Steve really only was physically affectionate with Bucky. 

“You seem overwhelmed,” Karamo chuckled as Steve shoved his hands in his pockets. “Are you overwhelmed?”

“No, I’m fine. I just… I’m fine,” he ground out. 

“We’ll get you used to hugs by the end of the week, henny. Don’t you worry,” Jonathan assured him, before turning to Nat. “Hello, beautiful. I love your hair color. So vibrant.” 

“Thank you, it’s nice to meet you. Are you going to take care of him?” She asked as she watched Tan and Antoni embraced him. 

“Absolutely,” he promised. 

After she greeted all of them, she excused herself to go “meet with Fury”. Steve gave it a fifty fifty shot that she’d been lying. 

“Good luck,” she tossed over her shoulder with a smile. 

“Thanks, Nat.” 

“I was talking to them. Behave, Steve.” 

He glared at her as she flounced out of the room. 

“So, can we see your apartment?” 

They could see the moment he admitted defeat to himself. 

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Come on.” 

Steve answered their questions in as few words as possible as he led them to the residence floors. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone but Bobby scattered the moment they got into the apartment. Steve watched the interior designer warily as he surveyed the room. 

“So I’m not seeing a lot of you in here. I’d assume it’s because you’re moving, but all the shelves are filled just not with anything personal,” Bobby assessed. “How long have you lived here?” 

“On and off for eight years.” 

Bobby made a face as he cocked his head and Steve was quick to explain himself. 

“I don’t spend that much time here. I’m usually on missions and such,” he shrugged. 

“Do you think it’s fair to say that you’ve never considered this home?” 

“No, I think of this as home base. You know. This is where I always come back to.” 

“So there’s a difference between home and home base. I know you’re moving because you’re retiring, so your new place will be somewhere you spend a lot of time. What do you want to see?” 

“I’m not really sure,” Steve admitted frowning, he’d never given it any thought. 

“That’s okay,” Bobby assured him. “We can sort that out. We’re going to make your new house a home.” 

_Home._

Steve softened at the thought.

“Thank you.” 

“Steve, are these your drawings?” Karamo asked as he inspected a beautiful pencil sketch of the Brooklyn Bridge he’d found on Steve’s desk. 

“Yeah. I like to sketch. It calms me.” 

“They’re beautiful.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Do you only do pencil sketches or do you like other mediums as well?’ 

“Pencil is my go to. But I also really like pastels and watercolors, but I don’t do them as much. It’s not exactly intimidating to go into battle with pink smudges all over your uniform.” 

“I can see how that would ruin the image.” 

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“So you like chocolate…” Antoni commented when Steve finds him in the kitchen going through the pantry, holding a dozen different types of chocolate. 

“Yeah,” he admitted, scratching at the back of his neck. “It’s a bit of an indulgence.” 

“Do you bake?” 

“I will with y/n. But not really on my own. I tried to make chocolate mousse for her birthday once and well…” he trailed off pointing to a spot on the wall that looked like a water mark. 

“Too high of a setting on the mixer?” Antoni guessed. 

“Yeah. I let her take the lead after that,” Steve shrugged. 

Antoni chuckled slightly. 

“Noted. What’s your favorite food?” 

“I love lasagna.” 

“Lasagna is soo good. Do you make your own?” 

“If by make my own you mean putting a frozen one in the oven instead of the microwave then yeah.” 

“Do you cook at all?” Antoni almost whined. 

“I really only know how to boil stuff if I’m honest. Most of the time it’s take out or frozen meals. I just need the calories.” 

The food expert looked scandalized. 

“Okay, so we’re going to change that. I want you to enjoy the food that you’re eating. And I want to show that the time you spend making it can also be enjoyable. And I want you to do it without ruining your kitchen,” he added with a cheeky grin. 

“Fair enough,” Steve agreed. 

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Steven, do you own a razor?” Jonathan called from the bathroom, followed by the familiar clattering of metal. “I wasn’t playing with the shield.” 

Steve actually chuckled and cracked a smile at the outburst. 

“It’s in there somewhere. I just haven’t used in a while.” 

He followed more clanging and banging of various products on the floor into the bathroom where Jonathan was desperately trying to find this razor. 

“Well, hello. Let’s chat. Walk me through a morning in the life of Steve Rogers.” 

“I get up. I get dressed. I go for a run. I come back and train. Shower. And then do paperwork or I go on a mission.” 

“And do you take time for like a grooming moment for yourself?” Jonathan asked.

“I just don’t really see a need. I don’t think the people trying to kill me care much about whether my beard is trimmed.” 

“Right, of course,” Jonathan agreed, nodding emphatically, “But there are people in your life who aren’t trying to kill you who I think care if your beard is trimmed. Are you open to changing your look?” 

“Yeah, I mean I’m not attached to this beard or haircut, so… whatever.” 

Steve shoved his hands in his pockets, trying to be imposing enough that they might give up while simultaneously looking like he wanted to melt into the floor. When he heard someone approaching he was glad for the distraction. 

“Can I ask why the only clothes you seem to own are workout clothes that look like they could fit me? And button up shirts and khakis that are two sizes too large?” Tan asked as he emerged from the bedroom with arms full of clothes. 

“I- that was the style,” Steve tried to defend. 

“Do you like this style?”

“It’s functional,” Steve stated firmly.

“So is your uniform, but I don’t want to see you in it all the time.”

“I do,” Jonathan interrupted, and Steve blushed to the tips of his ears. 

“They’re comfortable,” he mumbled. 

“There are nicer clothes that can still be comfortable.” 

“I’m not sure I believe that,” he argued reflexively. 

“I will prove it to you,” Tan promised with a good-natured smile. 

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   


After a little while, they headed to the new apartment Steve was moving into. Technically it wasn’t an apartment. Technically, it was an old car warehouse in Brooklyn that Tony had bought and gifted to him after they buried the hatchet. Steve had insisted that it was too much, but Tony had adamantly argued that he deserved a place of his own. He also made the valid point that while Steve may have been retiring, the bad guys certainly weren’t and securing a building with other tenants would prove tricky. 

Steve had conceded, and he had to admit he was in love with the place. It was four stories high and just a little taller than all the buildings surrounding it, and it was pretty close to where he and Bucky grew up – just a few streets over in fact. 

He’d been working on it in his free time, and he’d managed to clean it up. But he still hadn’t done any decorating. 

“This is gorgeous,” Bobby gushed as they walked in. 

“Oh my god, all of the natural light.” 

“So this whole place is yours?” 

“Yep. I’m not really sure what to do with this much space.” 

“I’ve got more than a few ideas. But let’s see the rest of the building.” 

The second floor was technically an oversized balcony that stretched across half the room and down one side with a wrought iron railing. 

The third and fourth floors both were unfurnished but had a homier feeling. The large windows stood out against the aged brick. 

“Do we have access to the roof?” 

“Yeah. We can go up there?” 

“Oh my god; this view is beautiful.” 

“I love it up here.” 

“This is my favorite spot so far.” 

“I can tell. It’s the only place with furniture,” Bobby laughed as he gestured to the folding chair tucked against the ventilation system. 

Steve shrugged but smiled. 

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   


“So I know you have a big retirement party at the end of the week, courtesy of Tony Stark,” Antoni began as he leaned against the railing on the second floor. 

“Yeah,” Steve affirmed with an affectionate but long-suffering expression. 

“You seem so excited,” Antoni snarked. 

“Big parties aren’t my thing.” 

“I had a sneaking suspicion. Which is why I was thinking it might be nice for you to have a nice little intimate dinner party on Saturday. You can show off your new place and your new cooking skills.” 

“That sounds nice, but I think you’re overestimating my ability to pick up new skills.” 

“I doubt that. Trust me, you will be completely ready.” 

“Alright. But if half the avengers end up in med bay I’m giving you their number.” 

“Fair deal.” 

He stuck his hand out for a shake. 

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   


While the others continued roaming the apartment, Karamo pulled Steve aside. 

“Come sit with me for a minute.” 

Steve hesitated for a moment before sitting on a couple of stacked crates. 

“So what’s going through your mind right now? Other than please get these men out of my apartment as soon as possible.” 

Steve felt guilt shoot through him. 

“No, no. You guys are great. This is just, a lot.” 

“The move, the retiring? Five gay guys turning your apartment inside out?” 

“All of it. But I think the retiring is what throws me off the most. I’ve always been the get ready to fight the next enemy type. And right now my next enemy is I don’t know boredom?” 

“There doesn’t have to be an enemy you know. You’ve spent so much of your life fighting, it’s time to live your life.” 

“Yeah, whatever that means,” the super soldier scoffed. 

“What does that mean to you?” Karamo pressed. “What are you envisioning for this next stage of your life?” 

“I honestly have no idea. This has been my life since I came out of the ice. I don’t know what to do with myself. I mean I’m sure I’ll figure it out, but I don’t want my friends to worry about me in the meantime.” 

“Do you think they will?” 

“They nominated me for this, didn’t they?” 

“None of them said they we were worried about you. Do you know what they all said?” 

Steve made a face. 

“No idea.” 

“That you deserved this. What are you hoping to get out of this week?” 

Steve was quiet for a moment. He felt exposed, which made him nervous, but he decided to be honest. 

“I want to find a future, because for a long time I didn’t see one.”

“That’s good. That’s important. We can help you do that. Boys, come in here for a sec.” 

Bobby, Antoni, Tan, and Jonathan appeared crowding in on either side of the two of them. Bobby plopped into Karamo’s lap while Tan cuddled into Antoni’s side, and Antoni laid his head on Jonathan’s shoulder. 

“Okay, I’ve got a good idea of what I need to do over the next couple of days. How about you fellas?” 

“I’m good.” 

The others nodded in agreement. 

“Are you ready, Steve?” 

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” 

“Alright, let’s get started.” 


	3. Bobby

“I know when we talked at the apartment, you said that you didn’t really know what you wanted to see in your home style wise, so I wanted to walk you through your options so I can get a direction for the design.” 

“Where do we start?” Steve asked, trying to stifle how overwhelmed he felt. 

“Living room furniture.” 

“Lead the way.” 

“As we’re walking if you see anything that you love or something you hate just let me know.” 

“Got it.”

“Don’t worry. We’re going to take it room by room. Nice and easy. I’m not asking for specific decisions, just a vibe.” 

The super soldier offered a sheepish smile. He had immediately started scanning the room as they walked, keen eyes taking in each piece and assessing it the same way he would an enemy on a battlefield. 

“So let’s talk a little bit about how you want the space to function,” Bobby prompted as they ambled through the aisles, wanting to diffuse the tension clearly growing in Steve. “What would you like to set aside space for?” 

“I definitely want a space for my art. And my motorcycle. I love working on it. Especially with Bucky.” 

“Okay, good to know. And I know you love the roof.” 

“Yes, that’s my safe spot. It’s where I can go to just think. I’ve always liked being outside up high,” he admitted. “Used to scare the heart out of my Ma when I’d swing back in through the window from the fire escape. Always thought I was a burglar. She nearly clobbered me with a cast iron skillet one night,” he chuckled. 

Bobby couldn’t help but study him as his eyes glazed slightly as a hundred year old memory washed over him. 

“Of course, she also had my hide because I was apt to catch pneumonia that way.” 

“She sounds like one fierce woman.” 

“Absolutely,” he agreed fondly, focusing back on the present. “One of the strongest women I’ve ever known. I think I miss her more now than when I lost her. Of course I never expected to outlive her for this long,” he added in a whisper. 

Bobby was sure he felt his heart break, and he was at a loss for what to say.

“I just hope that she would be proud of me.” 

“I’m sure that she is. You’re a hero in so many ways to so many people.” 

“I hope so. Sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” he mumbled shaking off the vulnerability. 

“Never apologize for expressing your feelings. And thank you for being open with me.” 

“You’re very easy to talk to,” Steve admitted with a half laugh and swiped at the tears that had gathered. 

Bobby mimicked the action. “I’m glad you feel that way.” 

“Is it normal to cry in a furniture store?” 

“It happens more often than you’d think,” Bobby chuckled. 

“Back to work now?” It was obviously a plea, so the older (younger) man nodded. 

They had finally made it to the living room section, and the interior designer gestured to the seemingly never ending array of couches, armchairs, and coffee tables. 

“Let’s talk couches.” 

“I was thinking a sectional. One big enough to fit five adults who don’t like to sit on furniture normally.” 

“Got it. Okay. So lots of lounging space.” 

“Yeah. Definitely.”

“So something like this maybe.” 

They walked to a large sectional about 15 feet away. It was a U-shape with two extended chaises on either end. It was deep blue in color and soft to the touch. But Steve could also guess from the fabric that it wouldn’t hold the heat like some others which was always a concern. He and Bucky always ran hot. 

He pictured it in his loft.

 _Bucky sprawled out along the middle piece and Sam on one chaise. Natasha would be perched on the back of it, because she hated using furniture in the way it was intended. Of course eventually she’d fall asleep and start to roll. Bucky or Sam (whoever was closer) would yank her down between them without looking and the three of them would rearrange themselves into a complicated tangle of limbs that somehow was comfortable._

_Meanwhile you would have started out curled up in the corner, shoulder to shoulder with him while Bucky dropped his head in your lap. But when he resituated himself you would shuffle your way over to Steve’s end, snuggling down in front of him._

The thought made him smile. That was one thing he definitely wanted from retirement. 

“It’s perfect.” 

“Good.” 

They went through a few more options and discussed modern versus classic and what Steve would prefer. Bobby had good idea of how he was going to set up the space. 

“Is anything that we haven’t talked about that you desperately want to see?” 

“This chair. Or something like it.” 

Steve ran his hand along a neat brown leather wing back chair. 

“Interesting. Okay. What draws you to it?” 

“We had one growing up. It was the one nice piece of furniture in our house. It had been a wedding present for my parents. During the winter, Bucky and I used to curl up in it under this giant blanket my ma knitted when she was pregnant with me. I’d love to have one now.”

“We can do that.” 

Bobby’s Interview: 

“Steve clearly hasn’t had a space that feels like it’s his own in decades. I want him to come home to a space that feels personal and not like a barracks. He also needs a space that acknowledges his past and sets him up to take on his future. And we can give that to him.” 


	4. Tan

“This is where the magic happens,” Bobby announced as he brought Steve into the loft. 

“This is really nice,” Steve complimented somewhat bashfully. 

“We like it. Tanny, Steve is here.” 

“Coming!” 

Tan strode into the room, with a pair of jeans on his arm. Dropping them onto the back of the couch, he hugged and kissed Bobby hello before hugging a somewhat less reluctant Steve. 

“Hello, handsome. Did you two have a good morning?” 

“Yeah, we did,” Steve piped up. 

“Well, I’ve got loads of work to do and so do you, so I will let you two get to it.” 

This time Steve initiated the hug. 

“Thank you, Bobby.” 

“My pleasure.” 

Bobby retreated to his desk while Tan gestured for Steve to join him on the couch. 

“So, let’s talk about your wardrobe. It seems like your closet is pretty much just workout clothes. The few real outfits I found look like they hadn’t been worn in three or four years.” 

“They probably haven’t,” Steve admitted though he sat up a little straighter, hands gripping his thighs nervously. 

“Why are you living in workout gear? That can’t make you feel good all the time.” 

“It’s comfortable,” Steve shrugged. “I spend most of my time either training or on missions.” 

“Right, exactly. So don’t you want to have something that differentiates those other times? Especially now that you’re retiring.” 

“I guess. But if I’m retired, what does it matter?” 

“Let me ask you this. Who are you dressing for?” 

“I don’t really have anyone to dress for,” he admitted. 

“Why don’t you dress for yourself?” Tan questioned. 

“I thought I was.” 

“Do you honestly like how you’ve been dressing?” 

“I didn’t think it was so bad. I mean everything fit.” 

“You and I have a very different definitions of fit. Everything in your closet, except for your workout shirts were two sizes too big. You have an amazing body.” 

“Courtesy of the serum and some vita-rays,” Steve interjected drily. 

“So what?” 

“So I didn’t do anything to get this.” He gestured dismissively towards himself. 

“Is that why you’re so intent on hiding it?” 

“I don’t know. I guess.”

“No, no. Talk to me. I want to understand,” he soothed as he leaned forward. 

Steve sighed deeply before speaking.

“Before the serum, my clothes were always big. They had to be. I was so little and it’s not like I could afford to tailor my clothes. The big clothes helped hide how small I was. And then, after the serum it helped hide how big I was. I went from no one looking at me to everyone ogling me and I suddenly didn’t want to be seen.” 

Understanding flashed in Tan’s expression. 

“Got it.” He nodded. “That makes complete sense. And I don’t want you to dress in a way that makes you feel like you’re on display. I want you to dress so you feel good. And I want you to dress in something age appropriate.” 

“You realize I’m 101 right?” Steve asked with a quirk of an eyebrow. “I don’t see any cardigans in there,” he gestured over his shoulder to the rack of clothing. 

Tan was pleased with his playful nature. 

“I love a good cardigan. If they fit you nicely, then I’ll be happy to put you in cardigans. Do you trust me?” 

“Yes,” Steve admitted, somewhat surprising them both. 

“I think you need to see what I mean when I talk about proper fit, so let’s try some things on.” 

Steve nodded and went into the side room to change into the outfit Tan had handed him. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“I feel good. It’s comfortable. Really comfortable,” he smiled as he stepped into the room. 

“Good.” Tan flitted around for a moment, adjusting his sleeves and undoing the top button on the shirt. “Do you see how it’s not overly tight? It shows off your shape without looking like it’s painted on. And the jeans are a slim fit which helps make you look taller.” 

“Yeah. I like it. I like it a lot.” 

Steve couldn’t hide his delight, despite his best efforts. 

“Good. Now let’s see it with this.” He reached for a hanger, stopping to speak before having him put it on. “So one of the pieces in your wardrobe that I loved was your very classic brown leather jacket, which I’m completely okay with you keeping. But I wanted to give you a more modern option as well. So slip this on.” 

Tan helped him into the black collarless leather jacket, smoothing down the shoulders. 

“You like how you look, don’t you?” 

“I do,” he ducked his head and smiled. “Thank you, Tan.” 

“You’re welcome. I want you to feel this good every day when you look in the mirror. And I want to see that smile. You’re a great man, and you deserve to see what everyone around you sees.” 

Steve scuffed the tip of his boot, still not good with taking genuine compliments. 

“I think that still may take time.” 

“That’s okay. As long as you are trying. Let’s try on a few more looks.” 

Tan’s Interview 

“Steve clearly has never been comfortable with his looks. And the way he dresses reflects that. He’s using his clothes as a sort of camouflage. And I want him to understand that dressing in baggy clothes doesn’t make you disappear. And I think it really makes him more self-conscious than he’s willing to admit. We’re going to help him be comfortable in his clothes and in his own skin.” 


	5. Antoni

“So where are you taking me?” Steve asked conversationally as he easily matched pace with the food and wine expert. 

Steve had been surprised when Antoni told him they’d be in Brooklyn for the day.

“We are going to one of my favorite places in the world,” Antoni announced as he stopped in front of the restaurant. 

Steve did a double take as he looked up at the dark green awning with “Giorgio’s” in gold lettering. 

“I’ve been here,” he murmured more to himself than anything. 

“Really? When?” 

“A lifetime ago. One in a series of failed double dates Bucky roped me into,” He chuckled good-naturedly. “I’m surprised it’s still here.” 

“Giorgio’s is an absolute landmark. Shall we?” 

Steve nodded, almost in a daze. 

“After you.” 

Stepping inside the restaurant was like stepping into 1938. A few things had been updated, but for the most part everything was exactly as he remembered it. As he glanced at the table near the kitchen he could see Bucky charming both of the ladies for the evening while he gnawed on a breadstick. 

He’d never admit it, but the double dates were often worse than having no dates at all. 

But Bucky would just grin and tug him along. 

_“Someday, punk, a smart dame will see what I see and you’ll be set.”_

Eighty years later, Steve was still waiting for that to be true. 

“Steve, I’d like you to meet my dear friend Angelo. He’s Giorgio’s grandson and the head chef here.” 

“Pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure’s all mine. Come on, let’s go in the kitchen.” 

“So have you figured out what we’re making today?” 

“Some sort of pasta?” Steve guessed. 

“Angelo is going to teach us how to make his famous lasagna from scratch. You look terrified,” Antoni pointed out when he saw Steve’s panicked face. 

“Are you sure we should start with something as complicated as lasagna?” 

“It’s not as complicated as you think it is. My goal for today is to show you that cooking is something you can enjoy, rather than a necessary evil.” 

“I promise, with the right coaching anyone can cook,” Angelo assured him. 

“And there’s no appliances involved for you to fling things at the wall,” Antoni teased. 

Steve smirked in spite of himself. 

“Fair enough. Okay. What’s first?” 

Angelo patiently explained the basics of making pasta. Before long the dough was resting and Steve was sporting a satisfied smile. 

“See, it’s not so scary.” 

“I’ve seen worse,” Steve chuckled. “It’s actually kind of fun.” 

They moved on to making the sauce and rolling out the noodles. Steve was enthralled by the process. Watching Antoni and Angelo move around the kitchen gave him a new appreciation for Y/n who had always moved with a similar ease while baking. 

While the lasagna was in the oven, they discussed other dishes Steve could make on a regular basis, though Steve was less than enthusiastic. 

“What’s going on in your head?” Antoni asked as he leaned against the pristine stainless steel counter. “Why are you so reluctant to cook?” 

“I just feel like I should be doing more important things,” Steve shrugged stirring what was left of the sauce just for something to do. 

“Taking care of yourself is important.”

“I eat healthy. I eat the same way I did when I was in the army,” he defended, arms crossing over his chest. 

“In a war zone. Besides, taking care of yourself isn’t just physical it’s mental. Food can be used just for calories, but it shouldn’t. It should be something that you enjoy and you feel. It’s meant to be an experience. Close your eyes.”

Steve quirked an eyebrow but complied. 

“What do you smell?” 

“Mainly the sauce for the lasagna.” 

“How does it make you feel?” 

“Warm. Like down in the pit of my stomach.” 

He was quiet as a memory took him – much more recent than the one he’d relived when he’d walked in. 

_He, Bucky, Sam, Nat and Y/n are on vacation in a little cabin in the middle of nowhere. Sam is using a breadstick to do a terrible impression of a haughty Frenchman. Bucky and he share a look and they both know they are thinking about how much it would have pissed of Dernier. Nat just snorted out a bit of wine and y/n is giggling so hard she nearly fell out of her chair. Steve caught her and yanked her chair close, draping his arm over her shoulders. She grinned up at him before tucking herself into his chest. Best vacation to date._

“Like family dinner,” he finally sighed out happily. 

“I’m not sure what you were just thinking about but it looked like it was a great memory.” 

“One of my happier moments for sure.” 

“And did you help prepare that meal?” 

“This was shortly after the mixer incident so I was understandably barred from the kitchen.” 

“Okay fair enough. But now that we’ve made you less of a kitchen menace, do you think you could make this for your friends?” 

Steve quelled the immediate panic, and really thought about it. He could do it. He can follow a recipe. And it would just be for Bucky, Sam, Nat and Y/n, so even if something went not so great they’d be supportive. 

“Steve?” 

“Yeah. I can do that,” he stated with conviction. 

“That’s what I like to hear! And it will be so special if you’re the one making it.” 

Antoni high-fived him, and Steve grinned from ear to ear. 

When Angelo served up three plates, Steve couldn’t help but be impressed. It actually looked edible and really rather pretty. 

“Wow, that is awesome,” he mumbled around his first bite. “And hot,” he added as he breathed through his teeth. 

“This is delicious. Your friends are gonna be so impressed.” 

“I sure hope so. I’m excited,” he added without prompting. 

Steve wasn’t sure when he’d last been excited. 

Antoni’s Interview 

“Steve is such a great guy, but he has no concept of food as anything other than pure energy. I need him to realize that food is meant to be savored and that it’s okay for him to enjoy things. Steve has spent so much of his life that I think he feels even eating nice homemade food is something he doesn’t deserve. Self-care doesn’t happen overnight. But this is one step we’re taking today.” 


	6. Jonathan

“Hello, handsomes. What is that gorgeous smell that is wafting through the air?” Jonathan gushed as he strutted into the restaurant. 

“Steve made lasagna,” Antoni announced proudly. 

“Would you like to try?” Steve offered somewhat bashfully, though he was smiling. 

“Of course.” 

He held his hair back as Antoni fed him a bite. 

“That is delicious!”

“Thanks,” Steve grinned. 

“Seriously it’s so good. But do you know my only complaint though?” 

“What?” he asked doing his best to hide his disappointment. 

“That’s it’s not spaghetti and meatballs. Because then we could have had a Lady and the Tramp moment and it would have been cayute AF.” 

Neither Steve nor Antoni could hold back their laughter. 

“Next time,” Steve promised. 

“Just name the time and place, henny.” 

“I thought I was supposed to meet you at the loft.” 

“You were, but then Antoni invited me on your field trip before our grooming session.” 

“Field trip?” 

“Something fun, I promise. Ready?” 

“Sure thing.” 

They both thanked Angelo for his time and expertise. Steve promised a return visit very soon; he was beaming as they headed out into the warm afternoon. 

“So, now that we’ve taught you how to make some real food, I figured we’d explore your indulgence a little bit.” 

They had stopped outside of one of Steve’s favorite places, and Antoni immediately saw the glimmer in his eyes. 

“You’ve been here too?” he gaped. 

“It’s the best chocolate shop in Brooklyn,” he shrugged. “Easiest way to make Y/n smile after a rough mission.” 

“Well, have you ever learned how they actually work with the chocolate?” 

Steve shook his head. 

“Then you’re in for a treat.” 

“Antoni! Jonathan!” Martin greeted the trio as soon as they ducked into the shop. “You didn’t tell me you were bringing one of my best customers.” 

“I didn’t know that I was,” he laughed. 

“How are you, Steve?” 

“Doing well. And yourself?” 

“No complaints. Now I understand you want to learn more about chocolate than that it tastes amazing.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Then follow me.” 

They spent the afternoon learning about mixing chocolate blends and how to temper. Steve even managed some tempered chocolate swirls which were impressively shiny. 

“How is the lovely y/n these days? She hasn’t come with you the past couple of times,” Martin asked as they were cleaning up. 

Steve grinned at the mention of her name. 

“Busy saving the world. As always. Although if she finds out I came here and didn’t get her something I’ll be in trouble.” 

“Let me fix you a box of her favorites before you leave,” he offered with a wink. 

“You’re a lifesaver.” 

Steve thanked Antoni quietly but profusely when they returned to the loft. 

However despite the bubbliness of the day’s adventures, the super soldier grew worried as he turned to face Jonathan. This had been the part he’d been the most worried about.

“You look like my cat when I took him to be declawed.”

“What’d your cat do?” 

“Ran in circles and clawed the curtains until he crashed into an ottoman. And just let me say Bobby will kill you if you ruin the curtains.” 

“Guess I’ll have to stand down then,” he chuckled. 

“I’m going to take care of you. I promise. Come on.”He led him into a room with salon chair and lots of grooming tools. “Step into my office. Have a seat.” 

Steve warily sat, back ramrod straight, at the edge of the seat. 

“I can see that you’re worried. So take a deep breath for me.” He waited until Steve followed orders. “Okay good. So, we’re just going to talk first. Okay?”

“Okay.” 

“Can I touch your beard?” 

“Sure.” 

“So talk to me about this whole situation,” Jonathan coaxed, running his hands over Steve’s unkempt beard. “Because it’s a little out of control.”

“Well, it’s left over from when I was on the run. I have a pretty recognizable face, but with the beard – no one really looked twice,” he shrugged. “No one expected America’s clean-faced golden boy to be sporting a beard and shaggy hair.”

Jonathan nodded, understandingly. 

“So why did you keep it after your name was cleared?” 

“I guess that I just got used to it.” 

Jonathan nodded, remaining silent for a moment as he considered his answer. 

“Do you feel like you’re still trying to hide?” 

“Sometimes,” Steve admitted, looking up and making eye contact. 

“I don’t want you hiding any more. I want to see you. Because you are gorgeous inside and out. And I want you to look in the mirror and be proud of who you are. And I want you to see the man that you want to see. When did you last really felt comfortable with how you looked?”

“I’m not sure I ever have,” Steve admitted. “I didn’t care much one way or another before the serum. The dames weren’t looking at me one way or another. And after, well, I was Captain America. Senator Brandt’s team picked the look. I had nothing to do with it.” 

“And after the ice?” Jonathan prompted. 

“Not as much has changed as I’d like. I was still paraded around. Had to be the war hero they wanted me to be.” 

“So when you went on the run that was the first time that you were really free from everyone’s restrictions on you?” 

“Pretty much,” Steve agreed in an almost stunned tone. He hadn’t exactly thought about it like that. His voice was quiet when he continued. “As terrible as I felt about everything that happened with the Accords… and with Tony, I couldn’t help but be relieved to not have anyone pulling the strings anymore.” When he met Jonathan’s gaze, guilt was the clear emotion. “That must sound terrible.” 

“Not at all,” Jonathan assured him. “At the end of the day, when we finally go to sleep the only person we’re left alone with ourselves, and we have to be happy and love that person. So you have to do what’s right for you.” 

“Even if that means a Mohawk?” Steve joked weakly. 

“Look, nobody’s got time for everybody else’s expectations, henny. The only person whose opinion matters is you. But if your opinion is wrong then it’s up to your very loyal grooming expert,” he added with a flourish. 

Steve snorted. 

“So what is my very loyal grooming expert’s opinion on my look?” 

Jonathan shook his head. 

“Nope. I want to hear from you first. You’ve had your look defined by other people for too long. What do you want to see when you look in the mirror?” 

Steve glanced at his reflection. He’d looked in mirrors more in the past two days than he had in the past three years combined. What did he like? Did he like anything? 

“I like my hair darker like it is now, and something closer to that forties style. I don’t want to cut it short again. But I also like the facial hair. Maybe just a more…” 

“Refined. Groomed. Version. Yes. I love it. I love your beard, but I don’t want it to be like your beard is wearing you. You know?” 

“That’s fair.” 

“Okay, so let’s start with your beard and then we’ll take care of your luscious locks.” 

“Let’s do it,” Steve agreed. 

Jonathan kept up a constant stream of commentary throughout his work. Steve found it incredibly calming. 

“Do you see how now your beard enhances your jaw line instead of hiding it?” 

“Yeah, I do,” Steve admitted as he angled his head to see the sharp line of his jaw. 

He couldn’t deny that he liked the way he looked. It looked deliberate… and flattering. 

“Oh you are going to be turning girls down left and right, henny,” Jonathan gushed as he finished cleaning up the beard. 

Steve let out a hollow laugh. 

“I’d like to find one I didn’t want to turn down.” 

“Why do you want to turn them all down?” 

He frowned and shifted in the chair as Jonathan cleaned the blades of the clippers.

“I guess it’s just… they all seem to want Captain America. Not Steve Rogers. I want someone who sees past all that. Someone who sees me.” 

The grooming expert nodded as he set down his tools and started spritzing down Steve’s hair with a spray bottle. 

“And you deserve that. We all deserve people who see past all of the extras and all of the walls we put up. They are so important. Do you feel like you get that from your other friends?” 

“Some more than others. I mean Bucky and Sam are my brothers. Sometimes I think they know me better than I know myself. Bucky has been by my side for my entire life. And Sam is so similar to me. Even though we fought sixty years apart, he understands being a soldier and fighting – boots on the ground and blood in your mouth. I don’t know what I would do without them,” he sniffed, allowing a few tears to escape before wiping them away. “And Nat. Not one I would’ve seen coming, but I suppose that’s her strong suit. She’s a great friend and I’m lucky to have her. And then there’s y/n,” he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face when he mentioned your name. 

“Your fellow chocoholic.” 

“Yeah. She’s my…” 

Best friend? Buck would strangle me. So would Sam. 

“She’s my best girl. A really amazing friend. She helped me make amends with Tony. She’s also one of the few people I’ve seen win a staring contest with both Bucky and Nat.” 

“She sounds special.” 

“Extremely. She always knows just what to say to make everything better. Sometimes I swear she’s magic.” Steve’s cheeks quickly gained a candy apple red hue as he processed what he just said. “But that’s corny.” 

“It’s not corny. It’s sweet. You deserve magic in your life.” 

“What are we doing with this mess of hair, huh?” Steve asked, desperate to derail the conversation. 

Jonathan could tell that pushing him wasn’t going to work. He felt embarrassed and was shutting down, so he allowed the change in topic. 

“Well, I was think we’ll take the side shorter. Not super short. And then we’ll leave a little bit of length on top and I’ll show you how to style it.” 

“That sounds great.” 

“Alright, are you ready to see the new Steve Rogers?” Jonathan sing-songed. 

“I’m nervous. Is it weird for me to be nervous?” 

“Not at all. Just take a deep breath. You look fierce. Like if you wanted a modeling career, baby, sales would go through the roof.” 

“Somehow I doubt that,” he chuckled. “Okay. I’m ready. Spin me around.” 

“Alright, close your eyes. One, two, three. Open.” 

“Are you sure this is actually me?” 

The only assurance Steve had was that the reflection’s eyes bugged out of his head as he was certain he was doing. 

[Originally posted by evansensations](https://tmblr.co/Z_USmX2i_A_8Q)

“Oh my god.” 

“Do you like?” 

“Yeah,” Steve huffed out in a giddy laugh. “I do. It’s so different. But it feels right.” 

“That’s exactly what I want to hear. Oh I’m so glad.” 

“Thank you, Jonathan.” 

“You are so welcome.” 

“Can I give you a hug?” Steve asked shyly. 

“Of course, henny. You never have to ask if you can give me a hug.” 

Jonathan’s Interview

“Steve is an absolutely gorgeous human being. He is the full package. But he doesn’t believe that at all. I want to show him that he is worthy of all the love in the world. I think he is having a hard time seeing himself under all of this,” he gestured to his face, indicating hair and beard. “And I don’t think he had a clear idea of what he wants to look like. And it can be really hard. And your appearance isn’t everything, it’s totally about the kind of person you are on the inside. But when you don’t like who you’re seeing in the mirror, that affects how you think about yourself and your mood and your interactions with other people. Everyone deserves to love themselves and I hope that this helps Steve have the confidence to embrace the wonderful man he is. He’s like a masterpiece waiting to be unveiled and all we have to do is whip off the sheet which in this case is the fugitive beard.” 

  



	7. Chapter 7

Steve and Jonathan were chatting casually when Karamo arrived. 

“Oh. My. God. You look amazing.” 

“Jonathan does great work,” Steve replied, deflecting the compliment but couldn’t hide his smile. 

“I mean I do,” Jonathan agreed, “But it’s not just that.” 

Karamo seemed stunned by the change in Steve. 

“You are glowing. How do you feel?” 

“I feel great. Honestly. I like what I see when I look in the mirror,” he added softly. 

Karamo and Jonathan beamed at him. 

“Awesome. Awesome. Well are you ready to spend some time with me?” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Alright then, let’s go.” 

Steve hugged Jonathan one more time and followed Karamo out to the truck. 

“So a little birdie told me that you always dreamed about taking art classes at the Brooklyn Academy of the Arts.” 

“Once upon a time, yeah.” 

“Well, we’re going to check out a class today.” 

“Really?” Steve couldn’t help but smile. 

“Yes, sir. And here we are.” 

“Welcome, class. Today we’re working on our shadow perspective. And then we’ll work on our self-portraits.” 

Steve was all smiles as they taught about how to use shadows in your art to add depth, and enhance human features. But that faded somewhat when they started working on the self-portraits. 

The crease in his brow deepened with each swipe of charcoal on the canvas. Still, the completed piece was beautiful. 

“You are very talented, Captain Rogers.” 

Steve’s cheeks reddened with the praise at the instructor’s comment. 

“Thank you. And thank you for the lesson, it was enlightening.” 

“Thank you so much. Do you mind if we hang out in here for a while?” Karamo asked as he shook hands. 

“Take as much time as you like,” she offered before exiting the room. 

Both men sat back down in front of their easels, Steve adding a few more details to his sketch. 

“Thank you for bringing me here.” 

“You’re welcome. But I didn’t just bring you here for art lessons. I wanted to really get a chance to talk to you.” 

Steve nodded. He’d been expecting this. And he’d been dreading it. 

“You mentioned at the beginning of the week that you wanted to find a future, and I want to help you do that. But we can’t talk about your future until we talk about your past and your present. Now I didn’t just pick this class for you to learn some techniques. So let’s take a look at how you see yourself. What’s going on in this?” 

He gestured to the sketch of Steve in his uniform and helmet holding his shield. It was incredibly detailed down to char marks on the shield and the texturing on the suit. But his face was hidden by the helmet. 

“It’s me.” 

“I want you to tell me what about this sketch is you. Because I just see Captain America. Where does Steve Rogers show up? ” 

Steve let out a sad laugh. 

“He’s in there. They’re pretty much the same person.” 

“You weren’t always Captain America.” 

“Don’t think that skinny kid from Brooklyn was all that interesting,” Steve scoffed. 

“And what about the man that you are now? He’s not Captain America.” 

“He’s not all that interesting either. People don’t care about the man behind the cowl.” 

Steve smudged his finger along the charcoal lines of his jaw, softening it slightly. 

“Do you care about the man behind the cowl?” 

“I-,” Steve clamped his mouth shut as the question seemed to rattle into his bones. 

“Since you got the serum have you ever defined yourself as something outside of Captain America?” 

“I mean I left the shield behind when everything happened with Tony. I wasn’t Captain America then.” 

“But were you Steve Rogers or were you just not Captain America?” Karamo gestured firmly with his hands. 

“I guess the second one. But I didn’t really think about it. We were all so focused on not getting caught, and maybe actually still managing to do some good. Though that was questionable.”

Leaning forward in his seat Karamo studied Steve’s facial expressions. 

“Did you want to be Captain America again?” 

“After I was pardoned you mean?” 

“Before or after. I’m just curious if that was what you were fighting for.” 

Steve was silent again, observing his own sketch. 

“I guess so. I mean at this point it feels like all I’ve ever known.” 

“But is it what you want?” 

“I want to help people. I can do that as Captain America.” 

“Is that the only way you can do that though?” 

“Feels like it sometimes. I went into the ice, one hundred percent certain that that was the end. I chose. And I’d make the choice again. My life against thousands, no question. I was at peace with that decision when I went into the ice. And then I woke up. Seventy years in the future.” 

His voice was tight as he spoke, eyes shining with unshed tears. 

“And suddenly Captain America is a legend, something bigger than I could have ever dreamed. I saw what he meant to people, and I thought it was a good way to get back into the world. To do good in the world. I’m not quite sure I ever deserved the mantle at least in its current incarnation, but once I had it I couldn’t separate myself from it. Until it all came crashing down and I had to choose. I couldn’t pretend the man that I was and the persona of the perfect soldier were the same person. They never really were.” 

“And the man that you are? Who is he?” 

“Just a guy from Brooklyn. He used to be a hero. But he’s not all that important anymore.” 

Karamo held his hand up. 

“I’m going to stop you. You, Steve Rogers, are important to a lot of people. Not as Captain America, as you. I had the opportunity to talk to some of your teammates on Tuesday. Do you know what they talked about?” 

“Not a clue.” 

“Well, they didn’t talk about missions or press conferences. They told me how you make their lives better by being you. Natasha told me about the family dinners you organized. And the time you and Bucky spent the afternoon winning stuffed animals for little kids and Coney Island. Y/n talked about how you sneak her chocolate when she’s in the med bay and that you’ll re-watch her favorite Disney movies just to make her smile. And Sam told me about you learning how to lead support groups for returning vets. You mean everything to those people. And you’ve touched so many other lives, your other teammates, those kids, those veterans. You mean something to every single one of them. The only person who thinks for even a second that Steve Rogers doesn’t matter, is you. Can you tell me why that is?” 

“Because I don’t deserve it. Captain America has saved people. All I’ve ever done is get people killed,” he spoke clearly, confidently, and Karamo could see that Steve believed that down to his very bones. 

“So you’re telling me that every time you failed that was you, but every time you won it was Captain America?” 

Steve nodded. 

“That’s not how it works. Captain America and Steve Rogers aren’t Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. All of your bad isn’t in one and your good in the other.” 

“Maybe not. But Captain America is a national treasure. Steve Rogers is a footnote in his history. I am a footnote in his history.”

Tears which Steve had managed to keep at bay finally broke through the dam, wetting his cheeks. Karamo reached out to comfort him with a firm hand on his shoulder. 

“Before the serum, I was nothing but a burden. My Ma raised me all on her own, and I couldn’t do a damn thing to help her. I was so sick. Every time I got a job I’d get hit by some sort of illness. She was taking care of me and everyone else around her until the day she died. Bucky was the only one who didn’t see me as something to wipe off their shoes before they came in the house, but even then he was trying to take care of me, pulling me out of alleys or dragging me to his house so he knew I’d eaten.” 

Steve quieted for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing.

“Even when he’d left for the army he was trying to look out for me, he’d wanted me to stay with his mom and his little sister, but I met Dr. Erskine that night. I was never really of any use to anybody. And then I got this body and the first thing I did was let the man who’d believed in me die. And in no time flat I led Bucky to the same fate. Actually a worse fate, given what he went through. I’ve got blood on my hands that nearly a century in the ice couldn’t wash away. Nothing could ever wash it away. But that’s not in the history books now is it?” 

Angry sobs racked the super soldier, and his head fell to Karamo’s shoulder. The culture expert simply held him as he cried. 

“There’s always been a part of me that was relieved to lean in to the façade when I came out of the ice. I could chalk most things up to waking up in a new century. It didn’t take long to figure out what people expected and after that it was easy to act accordingly. I chose to leave Steve Rogers behind because I couldn’t face what I’d done. I think I thought I was honoring those I’d gotten killed in a way, by being a hero and pushing aside the pain. I was Captain America and that’s who they died for after all. But when I came face to face with Bucky on that bridge, that wall crumbled and every ounce of guilt I’ve ever felt consumed me. I couldn’t push the man down anymore, and then more people got hurt because I wasn’t being Captain America. I don’t regret what I did with Bucky and the Accords but I regret that so many people were hurt on my watch. I’m not sure how to live with that. I feel like tarnished the one good thing I had brought to the world. The shield.” 

“You are such a good person, Steve, and you have brought so many good things to the world. People believe in you not in the shield. Yes, there are always consequences for our actions and there are things that we have to own. But there is a line between taking responsibility and blaming yourself. You did not let anybody die. You didn’t choose that. Terrible things happened, but just because you weren’t able to prevent them doesn’t mean you let them happen,” Karamo assured him. 

“I should have been able to stop it,” Steve argued half-heartedly, his breath was still ragged.

“I know the serum gave you super strength and probably a lot of other things we don’t know about, but it didn’t make you perfect.” 

“That I know,” he murmured humorlessly. 

“Would you say that you tried to be superhuman after the serum?” 

He was already shaking his head. 

“I just wanted to be good enough.” 

“It is good enough to be exactly who you are. That’s not to say that you can’t improve. But you are human. We succeed and we fail. And we grow from it. The thing about symbols is that they are whatever people want them to be. You need to be what you want to be. And that doesn’t mean good enough. And it doesn’t mean Captain America. It means Steve through and through. Come with me.”   


Steve reluctantly followed him to the large mirror. It was cloudy and streaked with specks of paint but he was still faced with his reflection. 

“Tell me who you see.” 

It was a long time before he spoke. Steve had been looking in mirrors all week. And he hadn’t been lying when he told Tan and Jonathan that he liked what he saw, but he hadn’t realized just how little he felt like it was him he was looking back at. 

“Is he Captain America?” Karamo pressed. 

“No,” he shook his head. “But he’s not that skinny kid from Brooklyn either.” 

Steve stared hard, looking for himself in what he saw, and finally he saw it. The set of his jaw as he focused on the task at hand. It had never changed, no matter how big he got.

“He’s me. But a new version. Someone I don’t quite know yet.” 

‘Who do you want to be?” 

“I want to be someone who’s not afraid to let people in. I want to be close to people, to let them see who I really am.” 

“Good. Good. And you know what? You have already taken the first step. You let me and the other guys in. You have been so open with us and I hope that you can continue that with your friends.” 

“I do too. Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. Now, there’s one more thing I need you to do.” 

“What?” 

“I want you to look in the mirror and tell yourself ‘I am enough.’. Go on.” 

“I’m enough,” Steve mumbled, not looking at his reflection. 

“No, eyes on you.” 

“I am enough,” he murmured a little louder this time. 

“Scream it.” 

“I AM ENOUGH!” 

He yelled to get Karamo off his back, but Steve’s voice carried through the halls of the building and echoed back to him. Through him. And for the first time he believed it. 

“I am enough,” he whispered softly in acceptance.   
  
  
Karamo Interview 

“Steve has spent so much time separating himself from his public identity that he’s completely forgotten who he is. And it doesn’t seem like he wanted to know. He has convinced himself that the people around him are only there because he’s Captain America, but that is so not true. They love him for who he is, but he had to love himself for who he is. And he’s on his way to do that, as he lets go of the pain and the guilt and just be Steve for the first time in maybe ever. 


	8. The Fab Five Reveal (Retired, Refreshed, and Ready to Live)

“Are you ready to see the new space?” Karamo asked as they pulled up to the building. 

“Yes, I can’t wait to see what Bobby did with the place.” 

“Well, we’re here.” 

Karamo honked before hopping out of the truck and leading Steve to the side door. 

“Boys, we’re here,” Karamo called as he cracked open the door. 

“Come on in!” 

Steve stopped dead in his tracks as he crossed the threshold. 

“Oh my god. Holy – wow.” 

He was vaguely aware of the fab five gushing over his new look, but he honestly tuned out as his eyes darted around the room, first, tactically and then in awe. 

The first floor was now sectioned off into two areas, separated by a clear fiberglass wall. The side closest to the front of the building was set up as a garage. His bike had already been parked inside and there was a very professional tool chest on wheels set next to a plush couch. He spied a tag from Tony on the tool chest and smiled. 

“Holy shit.” 

“You said that you loved working on your bike, and I wanted to leave you enough space if you wanted to work on something larger like a car, but I also wanted to do something really fun,” Bobby explained as they walked past the divider. 

The other half of the floor had a ton of workout equipment and even a basketball hoop. 

“This is great. I had no idea what to do with this space. Just wow. I’ll never get Bucky and Sam out of here,” he chuckled. 

“Well that I can’t help you with. Let’s go see some more.” 

Bobby led the way up the stairs to the partial second floor. The room had floor to ceiling bookshelves on one wall and a large mahogany desk, with a leather chair.

“So I decided to make this room your office because it gives you a space where you can work, but when you’re done the papers can stay here and it won’t bleed into the rest of your life.”

Steve nodded absently as he admired the art on the wall. Two large charcoal sketches – one of Brooklyn from his youth and one of Brooklyn when he came out of the ice - flanked the paned window. 

“This is awesome. And I like that it’s separate. I’m not the best at balance.” 

“I totally get that. It’s really hard, but this will help.” 

“Agreed.” 

“Now, let’s go see the rest of your space.” 

They took the elevator up to the third floor and this time Steve’s knees fully buckled. 

“Are you sure this is the same building?” he asked sounding breathless. 

“I’m sure.” 

“You’re amazing. This is amazing. Thank you so much. I’m not sure how but, you figured out exactly what I wanted.” 

“That’s what I’m here for. I wanted this whole floor to be open concept. That way people can be watching TV or cooking or eating and still all be together.” 

“Perfect,” Steve mumbled, unable to say much more than the simple words of praise. 

Bobby gently guided him to the right towards the kitchen. 

“So, here we’ve got tons of prep space, and you can eat at the counter if it’s just you or it’s something casual. But I also wanted you to have a full dining table and I figured between all of the combinations of Avengers dinner parties could get pretty large so this expands to fit twenty.” 

“I guess I’m hosting Thanksgiving this year.” 

“You certainly could.” 

Moving further into the room, Steve ran his fingers along the smooth mahogany of the billiards table. 

“I know we didn’t talk about it, but Bucky and Sam mentioned that you’re a fan of pool so we got you this.” 

“It’s beautiful. And I love pool.” 

His attention was drawn to the artwork on the wall. 

“I love that you got Bucky’s photos properly framed.” 

“As we were packing up your old place, I noticed that you didn’t have a ton of things that were you, but you lots of things from your friends and I really wanted to honor that.” 

“It’s wonderful. Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” Bobby replied warmly. 

After a moment, Steve turned his focus to the living room. 

“I love this sectional. It’s exactly what I envisioned.” 

“Good, and we also have –“ 

“The wingback chair,” Steve breathed. “This is just like the one my ma had.” He sniffed and swiped at his eyes. “How did you know exactly what to get?” 

“Well you gave a pretty good description, but I also asked Bucky to weigh in on the final decision.” 

“It’s perfect.”

“Have a seat.” 

Steve sank down into the soft leather, wriggling slightly to get comfortable; his fingers knotted in the heavy knit afghan that adorned it. Even that felt familiar. 

“It’s just like I remembered it.”

He savored the moment, shutting his eyes and letting himself feel like a little kid again. If he shed a tear or two Bobby didn’t comment. When his eyes snapped open the focused on the wall opposite him which was littered in pictures. 

“Are those…” 

He was on his feet in moments, striding over to inspect them. All of the pictures were black and white. About three quarters of them were modern pictures taken at parties and hangouts. Bucky, Sam, Nat, and Y/n were featured heavily. But a few photos were of the Howlies and Peggy which was lovely but not completely surprising. What Steve was flabbergasted by were the photos of him and Bucky as children and of him with his mother. 

“How could you possibly have found these?” His voice shook and he was crying hard enough that he could not see Bobby let alone the pictures clearly anymore. 

“When you went in the ice, the government appropriated all of your belongings. Most of it got sent to the archives of the Smithsonian. Y/n and I worked with a really lovely historian there and got them released.” 

“Y/n?” Steve asked. 

“Yeah. She wanted to do this and actually she’d already started the ball rolling, I just helped integrate into the place. She flew to D.C. a couple days ago to get the photographs.” 

“Thank you. Thank you so much,” Steve sniffled, and reaching out to hug Bobby, who despite being smaller was clearly supporting the super soldier. “I haven’t seen a photo of my mom since I went in the ice. I thought they were all lost. This is everything.”

Bobby held tight as Steve’s body shuddered as he cried before finally gathering his composure and taking a deep but shaky breath. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, but Bobby was already shaking his head. 

“Don’t ever apologize for crying. It’s completely natural. Now are you ready to see more?” 

“I’m not sure my heart can take much more, but let’s do it,” he agreed blowing out a long breath. 

The master bedroom took up half of the top floor and was decorated in blues and grays. It was perfectly calm and Steve was already looking forward to spending some time just relaxing.

“Any guesses on what’s through that door?” Bobby teased. 

“Not a clue,” Steve admitted. 

His normal battlefield evaluation skills were lacking today. 

“Go and see.” 

“NO WAY!” he practically shouted as he opened the door stepped into his new art studio. 

He understood now why you exited the elevator into the bedroom. The studio had windows on three sides, guaranteeing him not only the best light but the best views. 

“I was planning to set an easel up in the garage.” 

“Well, I think this is a lot better.” 

“Oh tons.” 

“And if you want to enjoy this view from your bed, you can. The walls are partition walls and you can push them off to the side whenever you want.” 

“That’s brilliant. I honestly, I know I keep saying the same things over and over again, but I’m completely speechless. I had no idea what to do with any of these spaces, let alone the whole building top to bottom. If I had it my way, I probably would have been living out of boxes with wooden crate furniture. But this is… home. I haven’t felt at home maybe ever. And to walk into this space and have it feel like me here and now is just so unbelievable. Thank you,” Steve gushed, hugging him again, although without sagging into him this time. 

“I’m so glad that you feel this way and that I was able to do this for you. Everyone deserves to feel that their space is theirs. And that it suits them. You deserve a place where you want to come back to and that you want to share with others.” 

“And I do.” 

“Good. Now, I have one last surprise for you.” 

“How can there possibly be more,” Steve laughed in an exhale. 

“Well, like you said, I redesigned the whole building from the bottom up. And there’s more level above us.” 

“You didn’t.” 

Bobby merely pointed and gestured for Steve to lead the way. The super soldier took the steps in three bounds and burst onto the roof. 

“Oh my god.” 

The roof had been transformed. The lone folding chair was gone, replaced with black wicker patio set with a loveseat, chairs, and a coffee table. There was also greenery along the whole perimeter, and lanterns. 

“I know you love it up here. So I wanted to make sure it was –“ 

“A sanctuary,” he completed. 

“Exactly.” 

Steve was reluctant to leave his little slice of heaven, but Jonathan brooked no room for arguing. 

“So, welcome to your beautiful master bathroom which we have set for all of your grooming needs.” 

“Great. Because I’d have no idea what to buy.” 

“I gotchu, henny,” he opened the drawer next to the sink to reveal several styling tools. “So we’ve got your razor with guards for keeping your beard nice and neat as well as a hair dryer. You probably won’t use that day to day but if you want to you can. I showed you how to work with that.” 

“Yes, the twist and pull technique.” 

“Exactly. And we’ve got a beard oil just to keep it soft. So two drops after your shower.” 

“Got it.” 

And I got you a great pomade. So, take a little in your hands and you’re going to work it in. Once you can feel it grab onto your hair, you can take a little bit of a lighter touch and once your hair is basically where you want leave it.”   


Steve fiddled with his hair for a few moments before he was satisfied. 

“Perfect,” Jonathan announced. “You are such a dreamboat.” 

The super soldier’s cheeks turned pink. 

“Seriously. You are so radiant from the inside out. So gorgeous.” 

“Thank you.” 

“And I have one last thing to remind you about. Sunscreen. I don’t care if you’re a super soldier. Sunscreen. Every day. That’s an order.” 

“Yes, sir,” Steve chuckled. 

“Good.” 

“Can I steal him?” Tan asked as he popped into the bathroom? 

“Absolutely. He’s all yours.” 

“Come on, handsome. Let’s get you into some outfits.” 

“Let’s do it.” 

Tan led him over to the large closet. 

“So we’ve organized your closet in a way that makes sense for you, which means casual to formal. So we’ve got your pants, jeans, khakis, dress pants. And then your shirts, t-shirts, short sleeve shirts, long sleeve shirts, sweaters, jackets. And suits.”

“Makes sense. I’ll just have to move some stuff to make room for my sweatpants,” Steve commented with a grin. 

“I know that you’re a super soldier but if you go around wearing sweatpants after all this I will throw down with you.” 

“I won’t. I promise.” 

Tan glared slightly before reaching past him for a garment bag. 

“Now, tomorrow is a formal event, so I got you a tux.” 

“Wow. This is awesome. And definitely the nicest thing I’ve ever owned,” he admitted when Tan opened the bag. “I love the color.” 

“I thought you would. It’s gonna look killer.” 

The fab five were sitting on the couch talking when the elevators opened. They’d been strictly instructed not to peek. 

“Are you ready for the first look, boys.” 

“Yes!” 

“Well see for yourself.” 

Steve stood with his hand in the pocket of a dark blue suit which fit him perfectly. He looked like a movie star. 

“OH MY GOSH. YOU LOOK AMAZING,” Karamo bellowed.

Jonathan let out a high pitched squeal. 

“Tan, that suit is the perfect fit.” 

As he walked closer, they couldn’t help but notice the confidence in his stride. 

“How do you feel?” Antoni asked. 

“I feel great. I think this is the first time I’ve worn a suit and not felt like a monkey in a tie.” 

“You look fantastic.” 

“I love the color.” 

“So we also got him a gray and a black suit so he has them for important events. Press conferences, meetings.” 

“Announcing a campaign for presidency,” Jonathan suggested. 

“I’d vote for you,” Karamo agreed. 

“I don’t see that in the cards,” Steve laughed. 

“You never know.” 

When the elevator opened the second time, Steve didn’t hesitate before striding over to the couch in dark jeans, a white Henley, and a bluish gray cardigan. 

“Yassssssss.” 

“I love this entire look.” 

“Do you love it?” 

One look at the broad grin on his face gave the answer. 

“Oh completely. It’s so comfortable, but I feel really good about how I look as well.” 

“I wasn’t expecting the cardigan,” Bobby commented. 

“Tan had to make sure I looked my age,” Steve joked. 

“I told you I’d get you a cardigan that makes sense for you.” 

“And you did. It’s nice, I don’t feel restricted at all.” 

“Good. And if you do want a going out look, just slide off the cardigan and slip on this jacket.” 

“Yas. Sign me up.” 

“You look so cool.” 

“I kept your classic brown leather jacket. This is just a more modern option.” 

“I love a collarless leather jacket.” 

“And the black is so sleek. You look great.”

“Thank you.” 

“Now, are you ready to cook?” Antoni asked clapping his hands together. 

“Yes.” 

He followed the food and wine expert towards the kitchen after slipping off the leather jacket. 

“So Bobby and I designed the space with a lot of function and a little bit of fun. So we got you a pasta maker, I already have the lasagna attachment on. And this slab of the counter is for chocolate work so you can temper it and make those chocolate curls or anything else that you want. Today we’re going to use it to chop up some chocolate to make, any guesses?” 

He looked at the bowl of ice on the counter and the chocolate and shrugged. 

“Not a clue.” 

“Chocolate mousse.” 

Steve blanched. 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? I’d hate to ruin my nice new kitchen.” 

“You’re not going to ruin anything. This recipe only has two ingredients and requires no appliances.” 

“Alright. I’m trusting you.” 

“Good choice. So what you need is chocolate, and you want really high quality chocolate because that’s the only ingredient you’re going to taste. Because the other ingredient is water?” 

“Really?” He quirked an eyebrow. “That’s it?” 

“Yep. So what we’re going to do is chop up our chocolate – which Martin was kind enough to provide for us - into nice quarter sized chunks and add it to hot water and whisk until it’s melted. Once it is, we move it into the ice and whisk until it sets.” 

After showing him how to whisk properly, Antoni had him take over. 

“One of the other reasons I like this recipe is because if you over whip it, all you do is warm it up again and whisk again. Whereas with a cream based recipe, there’s no coming back. Alright, that looks just about perfect.” 

Antoni spooned some mousse into ramekins and handed one to Steve. 

“Bon appetite.” 

Steve groaned when he tasted it. 

“Oh my god.” 

“It’s good right?” 

“So good.” 

“And it’s super easy to make.” 

“This is dangerous,” he chuckled after another large bite. “Y/n’s gonna have me making this every other day.” 

Antoni simply grinned in response. 

“Come sit with us,” Karamo called from where he was sitting. 

“Yes, come snuggle yourself right in here.” 

Steve settled in the center of the sectional between Karamo and Jonathan. 

“So, when we started the week, you told me that you wanted to find a future. Do you feel like you’ve done that?” 

He was already nodding. 

“Yeah, I do. Since I came out of the ice, I’ve been stuck between two worlds. I was either living in the past or trying to just throw myself into the future. I never felt like I could move on because I was mourning that part of my life. But now, you’ve helped me see that I have a lot to live for now. Not just the fight. And you’ve also given me connections to the past I thought were long gone, so now I feel like I can still love it and remember it without living it. I’m really excited to discover more about what I love.” 

“I’m so excited for you to get to know you, because we have all fallen in love with you.” 

“You are such a kind, genuine, good man, and you are beautiful inside and out,” Jonathan reached out holding his hand. 

“I hope you see the man the rest of us see.” 

“I’m starting to. And I just want to say thank you. At the beginning of the week I never expected to be able to be so open with strangers and really explore who I am. Thank you for coming here to help me.” 

“You are so welcome. Now unfortunately, it is time for us to go.” 

“I’m going to miss you all,” Steve admitted. 

“We’ll miss you too. Enjoy everything. You deserve it.” 

“Come on. Group hug.” 

They crowded in around him before giving him each individual hugs and leaving Steve in his new home to get ready for his dinner party. He smiled to himself as he looked around. 

“Home,” he whispered. 


	9. Carpe Posterum - Seize the Future

_“Antoni, henny, what delicious treat did you make for us today?” Jonathan asked as he leaned on the counter in the loft._

_“Chocolate mousse with chocolate from the best shop in Brooklyn with fresh whipped cream.”_

_“Yummy.”_

_“It’s time to check in with our favorite Avenger,” Bobby announced excitedly._

_“Are we ready?” Karamo asked as he grabbed the remote._

_“Yasss!”_

_They settled themselves on the couch and started Steve’s reveal._

Steve stood in front of his mirror still in the white Henley, pondering what to wear. 

_“He is so gorgeous,” Jonathan gushed._

_“Oh my gosh, yes,” Karamo agreed._

Steve finally settled on a light blue Henley over dark jeans, with a pair of brown boots. 

_“Tan, do you approve?”_

_“It’s a bit more casual than I’d want, but honestly this is such a huge step up from what he was doing. I’m happy.”_

_“Plus these are like his closest friends. I think he looks comfortable,” Bobby added._

_“Agreed._

Steve pulled the iron man apron over his head with a chuckle and tossed a tea towel over his shoulder as he prepared the lasagna. 

Everything was ready only moments before his doorbell rang. 

“Oh. My. God.” 

Y/n was the first to react, jaw dropping to the floor as she scanned him up and down, settling on his neatly trimmed beard. 

“You look amazing.” 

“Come on in. Take a good look at the Fab Five’s handiwork.” 

“Holy shit,” Bucky swore as they piled into the building. “You almost look presentable.” 

Despite the jab, Bucky was beaming at his best friend. 

“You look great, man.” 

“Come on, give us a twirl.” 

Steve did a slow turn with his arms out so they could see the whole look. 

_“Umm, y/n definitely just checked out his butt.”_

_“Who could blame her, henny?”_

They each hugged him in turn, but Steve didn’t let go of y/n. Opting instead to keep her tucked into his side. She didn’t mind in the least. 

“Are you ready to see the place?”

“Hell yes!” 

As expected, Sam and Bucky were immediately enthralled with garage and the state of the art home gym. Y/n, however, was much more taken with the first floor of the living space. 

“It’s so light and open. I love it.” 

“I do too.” 

Bucky gave Steve a watery smile when he sat in the wingback chair. 

“Thank you for that by the way.” 

“My pleasure. But I don’t think we’ll both fit anymore.” 

“No, I don’t think so,” Steve hummed. “But that’s why we have this great sectional.” 

_“Can we just talk about the fact that he has not let go of Y/n once since she came in.”_

_“I’m sensing a love connection.”_

_“It seems reciprocated at least.”_

_“Oh 100%. She is so sweet. And you can tell how much she cares about him.”_

_“Same with him. He would go completely soft talking about her. He always smiled when he talked about her.”_

_“Hopefully, he’ll make a move.”_

“How did the week go?” Natasha asked as she perched on the back of the sectional after they’d finished the quick tour of the upstairs.

“It was different than what I expected,” Steve admitted. 

“What did you expect?” Bucky asked. 

“I guess I thought it would be more of a passive experience. Like I thought they would just tell me what to wear, or how I should style my hair. I didn’t expect it to be a conversation. That was really nice.”

“So you feel like you had a say in all of the decisions?” 

He nodded his agreement. 

“Definitely. And I haven’t felt this in control of my life in probably ever. And now it feels like I can, you know, maybe enjoy retirement.” 

They all smiled, and y/n patted his thigh.

“We’re so happy to hear you say that.” 

“Does that mean we’re forgiven for nominating you for the show?” Sam joked. 

“I was never all that mad, so I’m not sure forgiveness is necessary, but my gratitude certainly is. Thank you. All of you for caring enough to do this. I love you all, and I haven’t told you that nearly enough.” 

“We love you too, punk.” Bucky clapped him on the shoulder and pulled him into him. 

“So Antoni actually managed to teach you how to cook?” Natasha asked, warily eyeing the lasagna which looked too good to be true. 

“Yes, he did.” 

“But he didn’t help you make this?” Sam clarified. 

“Nope. Did it all my own.” 

_“Yeah, you did! Like a champ,” Antoni cheered._

Y/n quickly cut a bite and forked it into her mouth to shut them up, burning her tongue in the process. 

“Ouch.” She muffled a curse in her water glass. 

“You okay, doll?” 

She coughed, thumping her chest. 

“Yeah, I’m good. It’s just very hot. It’s delicious though. Antoni taught you well.” 

Steve preened. 

_“Look how proud he is!”_

_“Well it helps that it’s coming from her too.”_

_“She really is so lovely.”_

As the others dug in, adding their surprised by honest praise, Steve and Y/n shared a look. 

_“Ack. Look at the secret smile!”_

After dinner, Sam and Bucky raced to the basketball court to settle their latest ridiculous argument and Natasha busied herself with the dartboard. Steve knew they were trying to help him out subtly – well not so subtly – since all of them winked super exaggeratedly. 

_“That is how you wingman,”_ Karamo announced. 

“I can take care of those, y/n,” Steve argued as y/n started soaping up the dishes. 

“Please,” she waved him off. “You cooked. I can clean up. Dinner was delicious by the way, Steve. Thank you.” 

“You’re very welcome. But seriously, just let those soak,” he insisted, reaching around her at the sink to turn off the water. “I have a surprise for you.” 

“Oh?” 

Her voice rose in excitement as she turned, still trapped between him and the sink (not that she was complaining). He grinned down at her. 

_“The tension is seriously killing me.”_

_“I have not rooted for two people to kiss so much since Mia Thermopolis was about to be crowned Queen of Genovia and totally didn’t need a husband, but had that hunky Chris Pine ready to be her prince. And let’s be real, who doesn’t want to kiss Chris Pine.”_

_“My thoughts exactly,” Tan teased as Jonathan sat back pleased with his reference._

“Yep, I made a special dessert all for you.” 

“Really?” Her eyes lit up at the prospect. 

“Yeah, Antoni taught me. Gave me a foolproof recipe for your favorite. It’s only got two ingredients and none of the equipment plugs in.” 

“Steve, did you make me chocolate mousse?” 

He shrugged and gestured toward the island. 

“Have a seat.” 

She hopped onto the comfortable bar stool, crossing her legs as she watched him rummage around in the fridge. 

_“She looks like she wants to eat him up,” Jonathan guffawed._

_“The quickest way to my heart is through food, so I’m not surprised.”_

_“Get it, girl.”_

Steve emerged victorious with two extra large martini glasses filled with chocolate mousse and a canister of fresh whipped cream. 

_“Umm, bonus points for presentation!” Antoni cheered, bouncing up and down on the couch._

_“Wait you didn’t tell him to do that?” Karamo asked._

_“No. I just taught him how to make it.”_

_Karamo was visibly impressed as were the others._

_“You go, Steven! Slay that presentation.”_

“Well it certainly looks nice. Here’s hoping it’s edible,” she teased, taking the spoon he offered her.

He waited impatiently for her to taste it, and when her eyes slid shut he lit up. 

“Oh my god, this is amazing. It tastes like those little elephant chocolates you get for me every Christmas. Only like it’s a cloud. Is this really only two ingredients?” 

“Yep.” 

“What are they chocolate and magic?” she giggled. 

“Something like that. So you like?” 

“Delicious.” She reached for him, pulling him to her side of the island leaving her hand in his. “And it’s really sweet that you learned to make it just for me. You know this may earn you the title of favorite super soldier.” 

“You mean that’s not already a given? I’m wounded.” 

“Don’t be annoying,” she glared up at him. 

He pretended to zip his lips and throw away the key. 

“Much better.”

They enjoyed their mousse in a comfortable silence, which she finally broke a few minutes later. 

“I’m really proud of you for doing this you know. It was really brave.” 

“I would never have done it without you guys nominating me,” he admitted in a quiet voice. 

Y/n reached out for both of his hands, pulling him to stand directly in front of her. 

“That may be true, but you are the most stubborn person I know.” 

His brow furrowed in confusion. 

“Thank you?” 

“My point,” she giggled, “Is that if you really didn’t want this, it wouldn’t have mattered how we begged or pleaded with you. You would not have done it, or you would have stonewalled them. The fact that you opened up, means you put in the work. You chose to be happy. And I’m so proud of you.” 

His cheeks tinged pink ever so slightly. 

“Thank you for everything, y/n. You’ve always been there for me. When I came out of the ice. When I was looking for Bucky and throughout the Accords debacle. I don’t know where I’d be without you.” 

“The feeling is mutual.” 

“And Bobby told me about you getting the photos from the Smithsonian. That must have taken you ages.” 

She dropped her eyes to their intertwined hands. 

“It was nothing.” 

He let go of one of her hands so he could lift her chin. 

“It is everything,” he murmured, cupping her cheek. 

Leaning down, he gently kissed her, fully intending to pull back after a moment. He was not expecting her to wrap an arm around his neck and pull him closer. 

[Originally posted by merelyqueerkat](https://tmblr.co/Z2kLIa2Z0y743)

_The Fab five quickly paused the video and celebrated._

_“Yes!”_

_“Finally!”_

_“Well done, Steven.”_

When they continued, the edit politely cut away from the couple and directly to the next day. Steve was once again in his room getting ready, only this time his outfit was the tux. 

_“Tan, I am completely in love with that tuxedo.”_

_“It’s the perfect color for him.”_

_“His eyes are so blue. Oh I could just lose myself all day in those oceans.”_

_“He looks so sharp. And you know he’s going to stand out.”_

_“And he should. This night is all about him.”_

The cheer from the crowd was deafening when he stepped off the elevator. Steve’s cheeks tinged pink, but his confident gait didn’t falter. 

“Looking good, Rogers. You might even be able to get the girl after all of this,” Tony smirked, eyeing Y/n who was waiting patiently by the bar. 

“Maybe I will,” Steve smirked. 

“You look happy, Cap. I’m glad,” he added in a more serious tone. 

The two men hugged, and Steve continued his circuit of the room. 

Thor complimented his hair and beard, and Bruce loved his tuxedo. The rest of the guests clamored for their moment to speak with him. Finally, Natasha was able to cut in and lead him to the one place he’d been trying to get to all night. Y/n. 

“Hey, handsome.” 

“Hi, beautiful.” 

He leaned down for a lingering kiss before leaning on the bar next to her. 

“How are you doing?” 

He took a deep breath and swayed his head side to side. 

“Pretty good. This is pretty tame for Tony.” 

“Nat and I had final say on the guest list,” Y/n reported proudly. 

“You’re welcome by the way,” Nat smirked at him. 

“Thank you, both.” 

Bucky and Sam were practically falling over themselves laughing as they joined them. 

“What trouble are you getting up too?” 

“Nothing, doll,” Bucky promised. 

“We just saw Tony sputtering because he saw you two kiss.” 

“He did tell me I might get the girl at the end of the night.” 

“Little did he know,” Sam grinned. 

Steve bounced back and forth between different groups for much of the evening. Often Y/n would accompany him, but sometimes she would sit back and watch. 

_“They’re such a pretty couple.”_

_“I love them.”_

About halfway through the party, Tony took the stage. 

“Good evening, everyone. Thank you so much for coming out tonight to celebrate the retirement of the one and only Captain America. Steve Rogers. Now, before we hear from the man himself, I’d like to say a few words. Steve, I know that we didn’t get off to the best of starts, but throughout our ups and downs you have never wavered in your commitment to helping people. The world is a much safer and better place because of you. You may be moving on from the Avengers, but you’ll always have a home here. Thank you for your service. And happy retirement. Everyone please raise your glass, to Steve Rogers.” 

The room raised their glasses and toasted him, and Steve teared up. 

“Now, I think we would all like to hear from Steve. So, Captain Rogers, please come on up.” 

Y/n squeezed his hand as he approached the stage, hugging Tony tightly. 

“Thank you, Tony.” 

“You’re welcome, Capsicle.”   


Steve snorted and clapped him on the back as they traded places. He took a deep breath before starting. 

“Hi, everyone. Thank you all for coming. And thank you, Tony for hosting this retirement party. I don’t think it will come as a surprise to many people here that I didn’t really ever think that something like this was in my future. But while I will always be here to fight when I’m needed, it’s time for me to lay down the shield.” 

The room was silent as he spoke. Plenty of people in the room had been on the receiving end of Steve’s motivational speeches, but few had ever heard him talk about himself. 

_“He is so composed,” Karamo complimented as Steve continued his speech._

“This was not an easy decision. And part of the reason for that is because I felt like I was failing everyone by giving up the shield. And to be honest, I had no idea what to do with myself if I wasn’t fighting. But I’ve spent this past week with five fabulous men who have helped me find a future. They also showed me that I am more the Captain America. But I’ve also realized that Captain America is bigger than I am. The world deserves and needs a symbol of hop. And I’m so very proud to say that that is exactly what will be happening. I am officially passing my shield onto the only man who could take it on. Sam Wilson. Sam, please come up here.” 

The room erupted in shock both on the television and in the loft. 

_“Oh my God.”_

_“Did anyone know he was planning this?” Antoni asked._

_“No.” They all chorused._

Sam approached the stage with his head held high as the others overcame their shock and started cheering. Steve held out a hand to help him up, and Sam couldn’t help but smile as he remembered the first day they met. 

“The floor is yours, Captain.” 

They hugged fiercely before Steve stepped back, literally and figuratively. 

“Hi, everyone. I’m going to keep this short. Steve, I just want to say thank you for trusting me. The shield has absolutely been a symbol of hope for me. But the shield would be nothing without your heart and your goodness. I will do my very best to carry on your legacy. Thank you.” 

“Let’s hear it for Captain America,” Bucky yelled from the back of the room, grinning like a fool. 

  


Everyone cheered as Sam and Steve came down off the stage, and Sam was engulfed by well-wishers. 

Steve was beaming as he made his way to Y/n, Bucky, and Natasha. 

“When did you make that decision?” Natasha asked as he grabbed a beer. 

“It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while, but talking to Karamo made me realize that it wasn’t I was Captain America or there was no Captain America. There was another option.” 

Eventually the party goers wandered out and only the team was left. Steve smiled as he held his hand out for Y/n, leading her to the dance floor where they lost themselves in each other, swaying to the soft music. 

_“Aww yay.”_

_“He looks so happy.”_

_“Uggh. Can we toast our Steve?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“To Steve Rogers.”_

_“And his future.”_

_The Fab Five raised their glasses._


	10. Bonus: Off Screen Scene

Steve was sketching when Sam called him and told him he was outside. Leaving the sketchpad on the counter, he hurried to let him in. 

“Hey Sam, thanks for coming.” 

“No, problem, man. Is sounded serious. Is everything alright?” he asked, worried. 

“Yeah, everything’s good,” Steve assured him. “Coffee?” 

“I’m good.”

“Let’s sit then.” 

They sat opposite each other on the sectional.

“So what’s up?” Sam asked, leaning forward on his arms. 

Steve bobbed his head slightly from side to side. 

“You know that I’ve been having a hard time with retirement.” 

Sam nodded, not commenting. 

“Well, this week, especially spending time with Karamo helped my figure out why.” He sighed, glancing at sketch Karamo had encouraged him to hang up. “Well, part of it is because I’m not sure I know who I am outside of the shield. It’s all I’ve known since I came out of the ice.” 

“That makes sense. It was your anchor.” 

“Exactly, something familiar in an unfamiliar world. And I realized that the history books had gotten a whole lot of things wrong and that most people didn’t want to be corrected. It was easier to step into the role with and without the shield. I left Steve Rogers back in 1945. But it’s time to bring him into the twenty-first century.” 

Sam smiled broadly. 

“That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you, Steve.” 

“Thank you.” 

“You said that was just part of the reason?” Sam prompted unable to contain his curiosity. 

“The other part is a bit more complicated. I was never meant to be a superhero. I wasn’t even really meant to be special. I was just supposed to be the first in an army, just another soldier.” 

Sam’s brow furrowed before nodding to himself.

“Captain America was born because nobody thought I could do any good. Even with the muscles,” Steve added with a wry smile. “Did I ever tell you what Erskine said to me the night before I became… this?” 

Sam shook his head. 

“I asked him why he chose me?” 

“What did he tell you?” 

“That I wasn’t the first to take the serum.” 

“Then who?” 

“Johann Schmidt. Red Skull,” Steve amended. “He stole Erskine’s serum, but it warped him even more. He explained that he chose me because I knew the value of strength and compassion because I had known weakness. He also said that no matter what happened, he wanted me to stay not a perfect soldier, but a good man. I’d like to think that I’ve managed that for the most part,” he murmured as he leaned back on the sectional. 

“I’m sure you have. You are a good man. I want you to know that I didn’t follow Captain America. I followed Steve Rogers.” 

Steve swiped at the tears that were quickly gathering on his cheeks. 

“Thank you, Sam. That means a lot coming from you.” 

Steve took a deep breath before continuing. 

“I feel guilty, giving up the shield. Selfish for wanting something outside of it.” 

Frowning, Sam shook his head. 

“You can’t live your life for other people, man.” 

“I know that now, but that doesn’t change the feeling that the world is better off with Captain America. Which is why I’d like for you to take up the shield,” he continued before Sam could argue. 

“What?” Sam reared back stunned. 

“The world deserves Captain America. But I realized that it doesn’t have to be me.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Completely, but only if you want it. There’s a lot of baggage that goes with it, so I’ll never force it on you. It’s your choice.” 

Sam was quiet for a long moment and then another. 

“I accept.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Absolutely. It would be my honor.” 

Steve pulled him into a rough hug, holding on tightly. 

“I hope I can live up to your legacy,” Sam mumbled. 

“You’re going to make your own legacy. You’re the best man I know, Sam Wilson.”


End file.
